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What does the Bible actually teach us about domestic violence and healthy relationships? Join us as we debunk common myths surrounding domestic violence. As we unpack common ways in which scripture has been used and misused to condone and even justify abuse, participants will have an opportunity to grow their understanding of domestic violence and enhance their ability to use scripture as a tool for supporting those experiencing violence.


Presentation Summary

1. God, Jesus Christ, the Bible, and church doctrine offer no excuses or justifications for this kind of abuse; in fact, they all condemn domestic violence.
    
2. Domestic violence (also called domestic abuse, relationship abuse, intimate partner violence, etc.) is not just limited to physical violence. It can include tactics like emotional abuse, technological abuse, verbal abuse, using culture, spiritual abuse, and social abuse.
   1. While the Bible may not use words like emotional abuse, there are plenty of characteristics of non-physical types of abuse in scripture. God condemns these forms of abuse too and is very clear on how partners should treat one another in a relationship and/or marriage (1 Corinthians 13:4-7).
       
3. Scripture does not command wives to be submissive to abusive husbands. Abusers who use scripture, like Ephesians 5:21-29, to justify abuse do not honor their partners in a way God wants.
    
4. Someone leaving a marriage because of abuse does not break the Covenant.
   1. God’s covenantal desire for marriage is broken by abuse.
   2. Moreover, the body of Christ is called to model God’s care and empathy towards those that are abused; this cannot happen if the first response to abuse is pushing someone back into the abusive relationship.
       
5. Victims return to abusive relationships frequently; making the decision to return does not mean that their stories of abuse are falsified or exaggerated.
   1. Victims return because they fear what will happen to their children, because of threats made against them, because they are shamed and blamed for the abuse--just to name a few.
       
6.  When victims leave an abusive relationship, it doesn’t necessarily mean they don’t care for the abuser, wish the abuser would change, etc.
   1. Mourning the loss of a relationship, what the victim had hoped for the relationship (i.e., their dream of what a God-serving marriage would look like) is normal.
   2. God does not minimize the pain the victim has suffered. God not only suffers for God’s people, but with them. God identifies with victims through Jesus’ pain on the cross Isaiah 53:3
       
7. Victims and survivors of abuse are not alone. If you or someone you know is experiencing abuse, there is help available.
   1. National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233
   2. Safe Haven Ministries: 616-452-6664

Guest Presenter: Tara Aday
Tara Aday is the Director of Prevention and Education at Safe Haven Ministries—a comprehensive domestic violence agency committed to serving all victims and survivors while also working to prevent violence before it begins. With 11 years of experience in the field, Tara leads training on domestic and sexual violence prevention and response to a wide range of audiences, including students, faith communities, workplaces, and human service providers. Of particular focus, Tara has spent much of her career mentoring and working with youth to build their own leadership and advocacy skills. In all that she does, Tara believes in the power of community-based solutions to domestic violence and the power of collective accountability and relationship building as the driving solutions to violence prevention. When not working, Tara enjoys cooking and sharing a meal as a way of building community and anything outdoors.


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